Satan the Mattress Salesman

Satan the mattress salesman.  Okay, not really.

Recently the hubster and I celebrated our wedding anniversary by going out of town and spending a few days.  What did we do, you ask?  Well, we did what any normal couple that has been together over a decade and a half would do…we tried out all the local restaurants and went furniture shopping.

Here is the backstory, we switched to a king-sized bed several years ago because we both like to have our own space to rest, and neither of us were getting rest in a full-sized bed.  At the time, we bought a new mattress from the “seconds” store and called it good.  And it was.  Until it wasn’t.  We had owned that mattress for roughly a decade, and dragged it across five states.  It was showing wear.  There were some rips and tears, and there was a hollow spot on each side where we slept and a big hump in the middle.  The pillow top was completely squooooshed down and the fluff was all gone.  It was time.

So here we were in Eastern Ky, hunting some peace and quiet, and a king-sized mattress.  Because that’s what people do.  *eye roll*  We had met some folks at a local restaurant (because that is the other thing middle aged folks do – talk to strangers) that had suggested this particular purveyor of fine (or factory direct) mattresses.  “Great prices,” they said!  And the next morning, into the store we went.

We were greeted by Chip (okay, that wasn’t his real name, but he looked like a Chip) and he began to show us around and encourage us to try out some of the mattresses.  I have to tell y’all, I was LOVING the I-am-getting-old-and-my-joints-hurt Adjustable Mattresses (maybe that wasn’t the ACTUAL name brand, but I digress).  Hubs was bemoaning the fact that the mattress was split, meaning he could adjust his side and I could control my side.  He maintained that it was too much like a Ricky-and-Lucy-separate-bed situation.  I, however, was loving it.  I was fantasizing about actually getting to sleep on my HALF of the bed, rather than the 1/8th corner of the mattress that he and the dog usually left for me.

As I was laying there listening to the soft music playing on the store speakers, daydreaming about being able to stretch my short little legs ALL the way out, Chip handed me the controls.  Come to Mama!  I hit the Zero Gravity button and the massage button and began to live my best life right there in the mattress store.  I was relaxed.  I was refreshed.  I was seriously enjoying myself.  This thing was FINE, y’all!  It was a hybrid model and came fully equipped with his and hers remote controls, and cooling gel for the (peri-menopausal) hot (flashing) woman.  I was ready to take this bad boy HOME!  That’s when I did it.  I made the mistake of asking the price…

When Chip started off with the cost and then immediately ran into financing options, I nearly had a stroke.  (Okay, for a hot second I entertained the thought of selling off the kid in order to pay for it…I mean, she is moving out soon anyway, right?  But I decided against that since we DO love her and enjoy her company.)  It’s HOW MUCH?  That’s more than I paid for my car! I didn’t SAY anything, but anybody that knows me very well knows that my face often has issues using its inside voice.  I am SURE Chip could see the look of shock and disbelief.  Every cheap, uh, I mean FRUGAL, bone in my body was revolting. So much for Zero Gravity!

Long story short, we did NOT buy that mattress.  We went to an auction and purchased a pillowtop that we had to wrap in a tarp and duct tape to bring over two hours home in the rain…that’s a WHOLE ‘nother story.  But I started thinking, isn’t that how the enemy does us when it comes to our sins and transgressions?

He lures us in with promises of things we want or “need.”  He assures us that the cost is miniscule, and we can TOTALLY afford it.  He helps us to get comfortable, and makes sure we are having a good time. (“What could be so wrong with all of this,” we are wondering?) AND THEN WE GET HIT WITH THE ACTUAL PRICE.  This sin, this transgression that we love so much is going to cost us our soul.  This act of disobedience is going to cost us eternity. Oh, but it feels so good in the moment!  Right now, in the store, it’s shiny and new.  All the buttons work and the music plays. Until the bill comes, it may even seem worth it.  But then we get it home and it’s not like we thought it would be.  It is NOT “as advertised” and reality starts to set in.  The invoice comes, and we start second guessing things. Was it REALLY worth all that? Romans 6:23 says that the price of sin is death.  But He pays that price for us and gives us eternal life – as a free GIFT.

The Word says that He gives his children good gifts (James 1:17, Matthew 7:11) not gifts that we regret later or want to return to the store. No buyer’s remorse in the Kingdom of Heaven, y’all!

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Satan the Mattress Salesman

  1. How witty (and sarcastic) you are! LOVE this.

    1. LOL! You know which side of the family that comes from, right?

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