Love in Action. Give it Away.

These days, we are in love with love. Divorce and blended family numbers are up, and two-parent family numbers are down. People fall in and out of love as often as they change their socks. Just watch social media if you don’t believe me. Many people are out there chasing those warm fuzzy feelings that they felt in the first of the relationship. Butterflies. But does real love – TRUE love – equal warm fuzzies, goosebumps, and butterflies?

Most of you have probably already heard these definitions, but I am going to recap just in case you haven’t. In Greek, there are eight kinds of love – eight words that are translated into English as “love.”

EROS: Romantic love. It’s passionate, physical, and emotional. It’s the one where you get the warm fuzzies and the butterflies. Irrational. Sometimes hard to control.

LUDUS: Game playing. It’s a sport, or a conquest. Flirting, teasing, and socializing. The thrill of the chase. This kind of love may have multiple partners. Superficial.

STORGE: Affection and friendship. It grows slowly over time. It’s based on common interests and commitment. It’s familial love. Love for babies, children, and pets.

MANIA: A combination of Eros and Ludus. Obsessive love. Dependent love. It’s based on jealousy or possessiveness. Dramatic emotional highs and lows.

PHILIA: Deep friendship. Comradery, sharing, sacrificial, unselfish.

PHILAUTIA: Healthy self-love. (Not narcissism.)

But the one we are going to talk about is the next one. Agape love.

AGAPE: The purest form of love. The highest form of love. Selfless, altruistic love. Often experienced as a parent. Charity, kindness, compassion, empathy. Sacrificial love.

The kind of love that Christ has for us is agape love. And since we, as Christians, are supposed to be striving to be more Christ-like, we are, in turn, to have agape love for each other. Agape love is all about the other person. It’s NOT about “me.” Agape love is not based on something as inconsistent, fickle, and fluctuating as emotion (so it’s not about the warm fuzzies). Agape love is an act of will. Agape love is love in action, and it’s often done when we don’t FEEL “loving” – but rather because we know it should be done. It’s the right thing to do.

If you have ever raised a child, you likely know about the difficulty in teaching value. You know how it works – you give kids expensive gifts and they don’t take care of them or value them. This is largely because the gift costs the child nothing. That is human nature, and anything different must be learned. So, when the child gets older, gets a job, and must work for his/her money oftentimes that thinking changes. They learn the value – the cost – of things, and they are more likely to take care of them accordingly.

Here is the bottom line: The best love – the purest love – the highest form of love – has to be given away. It has to be sacrificial. It must cost you something. Christ gave his life for you. He was beaten and abused and nailed to a Roman cross in order to GIVE YOU LIFE. He demonstrated agape love. To love you – to love me – cost him his very life’s blood. He gave it away. He sacrificed. And it didn’t matter what your attitude was. It didn’t matter if you were hateful and unlovable. It didn’t matter if you rejected him. It didn’t matter that you were eyeball deep in sin. He knew before He offered Himself as a living sacrifice that you had the free will to either accept or reject His gift of life. He did it anyway.

When you love, what does it cost you? Are you willing to love people (family, church members, neighbors, coworkers) that are unlovable – or at the very least, hard to love? Anybody can love the people that are easy to love. The world does that. But we are called to come apart from the rest and be separate. And believe me, consistently loving the unlovable sets you apart. Agape love is voluntary and expects nothing in return. It suffers inconvenience, pain, and rejection. Demonstrable love – love in action – (giving, doing, etc.,) shown to the people that are hard to love is a sacrifice. Love in action, especially when you don’t particularly have the warm fuzzy feelings, is agape love.

We are called to show agape love, even to the unlovable. Especially to the unlovable. They are the ones that need it the most. And here’s the thing: it’s expensive. It’s costly. But it’s a bill that Jesus was willing to pay for you – He says you’re worth it. So what are you doing with it?

Mark 10:45 ESV    For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

John 15:13 ESV    Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV    Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. 

Romans 12:1 ESV     I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

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